Intelligence is a hairy topic. It’s heavily emotionally loaded, whether you were one of the “smart” kids, one of the “dumb” kids, or of “average” intelligence, chances are at some point you were affected by teasing about intelligence. The average kids teased the dumb kids. The dumb kids teased the smart kids. The smart kids used their intelligence to make everyone else feel stupid in comparison.

I was one of the “smart” kids. I was consistently baffled by being teased for being smarter than my classmates. It didn’t make sense to me until I was old enough to understand that the kids teasing me were feeling threatened. By the time I realized this however, I’d grown into a habit of responding in a way that reinforced their feeling that I was intellectually threatening (an extremely effective coping mechanism for dealing with being teased, as it turns out, is to make yourself seem dangerous to the kids who are teasing you).
I started school again relatively recently, and suddenly realized that I wasn’t equipped with a better engine with more horsepower than most of my peers (my mom’s favorite metaphor to get me motivated to do my homework in high school was to remind me that a Ferrari in neutral is less effective than a Toyota in gear). I just had a different set of “utilities” installed on a different “operating system” (Steve Pavlina does a good job of setting up this metaphor in this article, if it’s not immediately clear what I’m talking about. It’s a good article anyway, so check it out!).

Working with this idea has served me in a number of ways.

First off, it has allowed me to detach my ego from my intellect. This means that I don’t feel intimidated by people who are “smarter” than I am, but instead feel excited at the prospect of learning their mental technology for greater optimization in my thinking processes. I also no longer feel smugly superior to people who aren’t as smart as I am; they weren’t as lucky to have been handed such good technology, or to stumble across it on their own. I no longer identify who and what I am in terms of a comparison of my intellect to other people.

In short, viewing my intelligence as a product of my operating system and the applications I’ve installed (or had installed) has been a functional mindset for me. I am not terribly interested in the advantages my genetic makeup may have conferred to me; at the least, that’s not the sort of advantage one can really measure meaningfully, it’s nothing I can take any reasonable credit for, and I sincerely believe that even if objective and agreed-upon measures of intelligence could be generated, a strict hierarchical ranking of that sort leads only to more comparison, which tends to lead to less happiness. Finally, I have yet to be convinced by much of the genetics-based science out there that the nature-versus-nurture argument is any closer to being resolved than ever it has been.

I really wish to emphasize that greater overall life satisfaction and happiness are some of my primary goals in my life, in the lives of my clients (I do body and energy work, you can read about that here), and hopefully in your life. To that end, I strongly recommend considering this mental exercise: force yourself to view everyone in your environment as an amazing genius who is working toward your growth, their growth, and the growth of humanity as a whole.

So some jerk cuts you off? Force yourself to see that jerk as a living human being who is moved by the same grace that moves saints. How? See the opportunity he gave you to practice detachment from your environment and from stimuli. Your mother was abusive? See her handing you the opportunity to heal the trauma from her past that she was unable to heal. See her putting you through a painful initiation ritual to allow you to grow more massively and expansively than most people have the opportunity for.
Why?
It really doesn’t matter, within your experience, if the fantasy you’re making up about the other person is true or not. If you can leverage your experience for your own growth and happiness, you will grow and be happier.

“In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”

“When you think everything is someone else´s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy. Pride leads to violence and evil. The truly good gaze upon everything with love and understanding.”

–His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV

I have struggled with food and weight my entire life. I lost about 70 pounds in college, primarily using Weight Watchers‘ point system, but the bulk of my motivation during that period was self-loathing. Hating my body was the only thing that kept me focused on eating in this way that felt weird and unnatural, but was helping me drop the dreaded fat. Once I’d reached my goal weight, I hadn’t really learned how to eat well, only how to force myself to eat small.
Is anyone surprised that I gained 20 of those pounds back?

I’m not a nutritionist. I’m a Chiropractic student. So what am I doing writing about nutrition and eating well?

In addition to being a student, I’m an artist. I’m almost obsessed with aesthetics, and the relationship between aesthetics and the choices we make. I keep finding that the decisions that always lead me to the greatest health and satisfaction are the most aesthetically pleasing choices I can devise for any given situation. That being the case, when I view the food I eat as being informed by my aesthetics, I have to ask myself: “what would I eat, if…?”

If I were living my dream life, I’d be eating fresh vegetables, fresh fruit, whole grains, nuts, seeds. I’d be eating food that’s handmade with love and passion and consummate care. I’d eat food that is full of my energy, that I made myself. So that’s what I’m doing.

My new rule is simple: if I feel like making it from scratch, it’s good for me. As often as I’d actually want to bake a chocolate cake from raw ingredients is about as often as eating chocolate cake would be a good thing to be putting in my mouth (so far, it hasn’t come up! ). I’m focusing on fresh fruits and vegetables as the bulk of my food intake, because that’s what I would do, aesthetically, in my dream life. I love being surrounded by vibrant living color, so I fill myself with living, vibrant color.

Will this help me lost those 20 pounds? I can’t say for certain yet. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on that front. I love the food I’m eating, love the way I feel, and have a relationship with my food now based on gratitude, love, and, of course, my aesthetics.

I’ve gotten some good insights from:

• Fit for Life, by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond [I'm not following this strictly, but all-fruit before noon and avoiding mixing nutrient-dense foods in one meal has really made a difference for me!]

Getting Things Done, better known as GTD, can be effectively used with a simple notebook and files, or, if you’re more technologically inclined, it can easily be used with PDAs, smart phones, and computers. Personally, I use the system in my computer for electronic tasks, organization, and email. I also have it implemented in my daily planner and file system for all the other things that come my way. As long as you implement the basic principles of GTD and faithfully make time to process, file, and fulfill your tasks, the system will work for you regardless of your medium of implementation.

David Allen, the creator of GTD, has outlined six primary categories in which to organize the actions that we need to do, the ideas we have, and the information that comes our way. This method is extremely efficient and one of the most optimal ways in which to stay on track. Below, I will give a brief outline of each and explain how to implement them. However, to get the full benefits of GTD, I highly recommend reading David’s book, Getting Things Done.

1. Inbox/Notes: This is where all work and information is collected. Did you have a brilliant idea for a project just pop in your head? Write it down and put it in here. Did you just remember that you need to pick up milk from the grocery store on your way home from work? Write it down on a post-it and put it in your Inbox/Notes file. Mail? It goes here, too. Voicemail, various tasks that come to mind, any kind of information that must be dealt with goes in here to be processed. Any kind, that is, except for tasks that take two minutes or less to complete. Get those done immediately. This will create less stress and a clearer mind in order to tackle the bigger projects. Don’t put them off. Fire off that two second response to that email that you just got in your inbox.

2. Actions: This is a list of the actions/tasks that you need to complete and will work on throughout the day. You may also find it helpful to divide your action list into subcategories. You may make a list for “Work”, “On the Phone”, “At The Computer”, “Errands”, etc., whatever categories are going to be helpful for you. When you get home you check your home list and can easily see what it is you wanted to work on here. The same goes for any other subcategory you’ve made.

Tasks that are time and date sensitive are written on the calendar. If it is something that you need to get started on before it’s due date, write the day/time it is due as well as a reminder as many days in advance that it will take you to complete the task.

3. Projects: A project is anything that consists of two or more actions. The distinction between actions and projects is one of the most common mistakes people have in time management. For example, someone may put “Write Paper” on their task list for Wednesday. The problem here is that you can’t do a project because a project is a set of actions. Rather than placing some amorphous project on an action list, make a separate section for your projects and under each project write down all the actions necessary to complete the project. Once you have done that, you can write those actions in your action list, complete those actions, and effectively complete the project. This will make your projects much more manageable, less daunting, and help you get them done faster.

4. Waiting On: Any action in which you are invested but not directly involved with falls into this category. Some great examples are projects or tasks that you have delegated. Write them in this section of your notebook or file so that you can be reminded to check in regularly with those completing the task in order to see if you can be of any assistance and to make sure that progress is being made.

5. Someday/Maybe: Reading lists, vacation ideas, seminars, classes, and other things that you would like to do at some point but are not time sensitive go here. A great side effect of writing these types of things down and reviewing them regularly is that you are frequently reminded of them, you are more likely to make time for them, and you are actually doing things that you’d thought you’d never get around to!

6. Reference: Any kind of information that you don’t need to take action on but do need to hold on to for future reference would be placed here. Don’t just put anything here, however. We don’t want clutter and unnecessary papers hanging around. Make sure it is something that you will really need to refer to. Current tax and medical information are good examples of things you may want to hold on to. An invitation to a customer appreciation party at a shop you’ve not been to in 2 1/2 years is likely something that you do not need to hold on to.

It is important to have what David calls “ubiquitous capture tools.” He recommends that we keep pads and paper anywhere we work or think, and take one with us everywhere we go in which we can quickly write notes, tasks, projects, or anything that comes to mind. This is something that you take with you wherever you go in which you can quickly write notes, tasks, projects, and ideas that come to mind. For this purpose a Hacked Moleskine, FranklinCovey, or PDA works great. The reason for having a ubiquitous capture tool is that you want to write something that you must take action on as soon as it comes to mind. When you write something down in a place that you review regularly (i.e. your ubiquitous capture tool), your mind will let it go, knowing that you will take care of it. When we don’t write these things down, the mind will constantly return to this task or idea, regardless if you can actually do anything about it at that particular time. Any task, action, or project that we must perform goes into one of these capture tools as soon as possible. According to David, we want to have has few of these capture tools as possible but as many as needed.

As I said before, we need to be constantly reviewing our capture tools. The information and tasks that was collected must be processed and sorted regularly, ideally, several times a day. If the thing in our Inbox is not actionable, say, its a piece of junkmail, then throw it away. If it is actionable is it a single action that you have to do? If you can do it in under two minutes, do it right now. If it will take more than two minutes, put it on the calendar if it is day specific, if not, put it on your Next Action list. If it is a part of a project, put it with your projects. Is it something that you need to delegate? Then delegate it and put it with your “Waiting On” file. If it is reference, then put it in your reference folders.

Review all of your action lists daily to keep current on your progress. Weekly reviews are also extremely important. Once a week, go through all of your notes, inbox, actions, waiting ons, etc and see how everything is coming. What is falling through the cracks? Are there delegated projects that you need to check in on this week? Are there projects that need your attention this week? Add their tasks to your task list. Are there tasks that didn’t get done that need to be? Put them on your list this week and make a concerted effort to fulfill all of your tasks. Make sure when putting something on your task list that you will have time to do it. Make sure it is something you can get done. Writing a task on a to do list is making a commitment to your self. When it goes unfilled we feel it, consciously and subconsciously and it does harm to our psyche.

That’s the basics of GTD. If you personalize it to fit your needs and work with it faithfully, you will find, like myself and many others, that it is an extremely beneficial and effective system. Have fun with it, make it yours, read David’s book, and you’ll be a GTD expert in no time!

Time management is one of today’s most vital skills. Without it, people easily become victims of time, stress levels increase, productivity languishes, and motivation quickly turns to desperation or apathy. A good time management system will keep you organized, provide peace of mind, increase productivity, decrease stress, and prevent the embarrassment caused by missed appointments, meetings, and various other obligations.

There are several time management systems available. My two favorites are Getting Things Done (GTD) by David Allen and FranklinCovey from Stephen Covey. I highly recommend that everyone read Getting Things Done and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Allen and Covey, respectively. In my opinion, these are indispensable resources stuffed with oodles of helpful information; they’re so good that I practically consider them scripture.

I am unusual in that I prefer to use a mixture of both of these systems. I find that each has its strengths and weaknesses, which are overcome when the two are intermingled. The optimal system for you will be the one that makes the most sense and can be adequately adapted to meet your needs. Keep in mind that time management is extremely personal and must conform to your individual requirements in order for it to be of assistance.

Another important consideration is that of paper planning versus electronic planning. Both GTD and FranklinCovey are easily adaptable to paper. I know that there are several great computer programs that implement or can be used for GTD, such as iGTD and Things. FranklinCovey is less ubiquitous in the electronic world but it does have computer based versions of its system. Unfortunately, I can’t say how helpful these may be as they are only available for PC and I am a Mac user.

Ultimately, you’ve got to decide which system is best for you and follow it with religious fervor. In order to give people a clearer idea about time management, I will give introductions to the GTD and FranklinCovey systems, and also explain how I use them together. From there, I hope you will have a stronger sense about which system would work best for you. You can then look into that system more deeply so that you can make it a vital and productive part of your life.

One of the things I wish to do in this blog is to present a number of “functional mindsets” or “functional metaphors.” These are states of mind, ways of viewing and interacting with the world around and within us that are more optimized for our individual goals than other, culturally inherited paradigms. I could talk around this for pages, so let me give an example to demonstrate first.

I suspect most of you have heard the somewhat smarmy platitude “have an attitude of gratitude” before. As poetry, it stinks. As useful lifestyle instructions, however, it excels. Positive psychology research (the field of psychology that deals not with pathology and dysfunction, but the social and neurological dynamics of happiness and satisfaction) indicates that conscientiously adopting gratitude as a mindset by doing exercises such as writing down 5 things you’re grateful for every day is strongly positively linked to an experience of life that is happy, content, and joyful.

Mind-body research shows that expressing gratitude before eating (to God, the farmers who grew your vegetables, the animals that died for your meat, the company you’re in, the good day you’re having, whoever and whatever you feel like) actually increases nutrient absorption. This makes sense at the least because it will increase your appreciation of what you’re eating, and therefore likely decrease the speed at which you’re eating it, though who knows what tricky processes might be invoked on a metabolic level when you’re saying grace? Practicing gratitude makes you physically and emotionally healthier.

Gratitude is a highly functional mindset.

Sharing functional mindsets can be a powerful way of cooperatively and collaboratively growing with friends and family. Viewing concepts like gratitude, detachment, and contemplation (to name a few) as functional mindsets makes it easier to simply experiment with them, notice what results you get, notice when you’re using them, when you’re not, and what you get out of adopting them, and then make informed decisions about how you’re living your life.

It all comes down to choice. The easiest definition of a functional mindset, then, is a state of mind or way of viewing the world that either brings you new functionality, or one that increases your conscious awareness of having a choice in how to respond to your environment. A functional mindset is one that helps you feel more powerful.

For more on positive psychology and happiness research, I heartily recommend checking out:

• The Happiness Hypothesis, by Jonathan Haidt and
• Happier, by Tal Ben-Shahar

I will discuss a range of topics in this blog and many of them I would call practical spirituality. What I mean by practical spirituality is getting in touch with your spirit and higher power without dogma and regardless of your religion or spiritual path.

The beauty of practical spirituality is that it is not confined by the formalities and walls of churches, temples, religious congregations, or structured rituals. Practical spirituality is about bringing the sacred to our everyday thoughts and actions. As a result, our normal lives our filled with more joy, passion, and gratitude. It is about being conscious and ultimately living each moment with purpose, power, vibrance, and meaning. I know it sounds difficult, if not impossible, to live every moment in this way. That’s why practical spirituality is a practice and not an end. Most of us, including myself, are lucky to have a few moments each day where we feel completely connected, grounded, vibrant, alive, and conscious. To infuse every moment of every day with that sublimity is the intention of practical spirituality. Whether we ever get there is irrelevant. Just touching this experience for a moment is amazing. We simply wish to build moment to moment and get as much of the practice as possible in our daily lives.

I want to make it clear that I do not believe practical spirituality is above traditional religious practices or that these traditional paths are unimportant. In fact, I feel quite the opposite since these traditions are the sources of practical spirituality. Anyone’s current religion and spiritual views will remain extremely important, even become more so, when implementing practical spirituality.

I do concede however that there is a problem with many institutions of religion, especially in the West. In my experience, it seems that people will go to their church, temple, and religious meetings once or twice a week. Afterwards, they leave spirituality behind until their next visit. It also concerns me that in many traditional paths the highest spiritual ideals and experiences are difficult to attain and may only be tasted by those who have renounced the world, vowing to embrace their religion fully and daily as priests, sadhus, monks, nuns, yogis, and so forth. Many of us really value the devotion and sacrifice of these people, and value spirituality just as greatly. However, our value of spirituality is in conflict with the values of having a family, friends, jobs, or experiencing the vast richness of the material world. This conflict causes many people believe enlightenment or experiencing the greatest beauty of spirituality is beyond their grasp. It is precisely this limiting belief I would like to dispel.

Some of the ideas that I call practical spirituality are my own and many of them come from my years of academic and personal study of philosophy, religion, meditation, personal growth, and life coaching. Whenever I can remember a specific source, I will site it and provide some reading suggestions.
Ultimately, I want to help you make the sacred an everyday experience and to make the everyday experience sacred. This will be done through practices that bring awareness to the moment, clarity to the mind, or empowerment to the psyche. I invite you to take what works for and with you and to ignore anything that that does not resonate with who you are or your current path.

It’s axiomatic that television is “bad for you.” No one really even questions whether or not watching TV is a generally unhealthy activity, but like drinking coffee, we all think about it in terms of “every vice is acceptable in moderation.” While I’m definitely in agreement that moderation is crucial to a healthy relationship with television, the underlying assumption that it is, at its core, a psychically unhealthy activity to engage in doesn’t fly with me.

Television is contemporary theater. And there’s a lot of it! So of course using sharp discernment about what television to watch is important. I’m delighted beyond measure to see that television that is about emotional uplift, such as the new Lifetime Television show How to Look Good Naked, a show that takes a woman each week from loathing her body to loving her body, is gaining popularity and momentum.

I strongly believe that the best way to adopt a new habit is to surround yourself with people who have the habit you want. Whether it’s eating well, exercising regularly, or viewing yourself as a powerful, beautiful, and attractive person (which of course are just habitual ways of thinking about yourself!), spending time with people who are already doing what you want to do is a great way to keep motivated, learn the tricks and mental shortcuts for staying with it, and keep inspired while you’re transitioning from one way of being into another.

What does this have to do with television? Think about the people you watch on TV regularly as your peer group. Granted, it’s a rather one-sided relationship, but from your end, who cares? Now think about who you’re really spending your leisure time with. Are you hanging out with teenage prostitutes? Egomaniacs? Screaming bitchy queens? What are your relationship models like? Are the people you’re watching and spending time with warm to each other, loving, communicative, playful, compassionate? Are they even functional?

What are you learning from your television? Television is a marvelous vehicle for self-exploration and skill acquisition. You can learn to cook, explore the Earth and cosmos, learn skills for everything from making money in real estate by flipping property to building a wardrobe that expresses who you want to be in the world (can I just say that I’m the biggest fan of What Not to Wear, ever? This show is the one that got me paying attention to the whole idea of uplifting television).

Ultimately, what you’re watching should be a reflection of who you see yourself as being in the world. If you’re not thinking about all of your television as edutainment, as a source of inspiration, perhaps it’s time to consider a 30-day trial of uplifting TV.

Here’s a list of a few programs that I love to learn from and be inspired by:

• TLC’s What Not to Wear
• BBC America’s How Clean is Your House?
• BBC America’s You Are What You Eat
• Food Network’s Nigella Express
• Science Channel’s (rerun of) Carl Sagan’s Cosmos
• Lifetime’s How to Look Good Naked

What are some of your favorites? Who are you learning from? Who are you spending your time with?